


The Sun & the Moon

by peachychangbin



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, How Do I Tag, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Maybe I'll continue this, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sun and Moon analogy, not me, possibly, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-02 21:45:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16795348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachychangbin/pseuds/peachychangbin
Summary: One, the sun, and the other, the moon. Connected by an invisible thread that bonded them forever. Longing. Longing to be together but ultimately destined to be apart. Just like the sun and the moon. Rising and falling. Always separated by the shade of the sky.It became routine. Wanting so badly to be together only to be forced apart. It was destiny.





	The Sun & the Moon

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing and posting a skz fanfic, please be nice to me so my self-esteem goes up :)
> 
> In all honesty, I hope you all like it! Maybe I'll continue it in the future but for right now its technically finished. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

One, the sun, and the other, the moon. Connected by an invisible thread that bonded them forever. Longing. Longing to be together but ultimately destined to be apart. Just like the sun and the moon. Rising and falling. Always separated by the shade of the sky.

It became routine. Wanting so badly to be together only to be forced apart. It was destiny.

◦◦◦

Chris. The moon, and like the moon he was shrouded in darkness. Forever jailed to his darkness, never to touch the light blue sky for that was Felix’s place.

Felix. The sun, and like the sun he radiated bright light. Contained to the light blue sky he called home. Never daring to venture into the darkness for that was not his place.

There were times when they crossed paths, very rarely did they ever see each other but in that time, they knew. They knew that they were bonded to each other somehow, someway. They also knew that being the opposite of the other, it was near impossible. Chris knew he was screwed the moment he saw rosy cheeks and a sparkle in the other’s eyes. Chris was utterly screwed.

“Opposites attract.” The age-old phrase that gave some hope that their relationships would last. Chris wanted to be hopeful. He truly wanted to be, but as destiny proclaimed, Felix and Chris were to be forever apart. Just like the sun and moon.

◦◦◦

Those rosy cheeks and sparkle-filled eyes kept Chris up at night. Tossing and turning. Nothing could shove the bright boy with freckles out of his mind. Chris found himself daydreaming about him, day in and day out. The boy had planted himself like a seed inside Chris’ brain and nothing could get him out. Chris was plagued with the image of the boy.

Chris couldn’t understand why he thought of this boy every night before he fell asleep. It can’t be normal… to think of some boy before he falls asleep. At least for Chris. He didn't understand why he wanted to be able to see the boy smile and laugh. To be in the presence of someone so bright, maybe for someone like Chris, it could change him. Maybe the dark aura that surrounded Chris like a fog could be lifted.

◦◦◦

Chris was never one to think about his sexuality. It wasn't something that crossed his mind. He had always been attracted to girls so why did he feel the need to think about it? He was normal the way he was. 

To think that one boy could turn his whole world upside down and make Chris question his entire being baffled him. How could this one boy have that much influence and weight on him? The thread. Somehow, they were connected. Somehow there was a bond between them that couldn't be explained to either boy. 

Chris felt alone. He felt disgusting. He felt like an abomination. 

“Why me?” 

A phrase that placed a veil over Chris' eyes. He was in the dark, more dark than he had ever been in before. Nothing made sense. The dark engulfed him, smaller, smaller, smaller.

Chris felt so small. He shrunk into himself, disappearing into the dark. 

Nothing made sense.

◦◦◦

Life passed by in a haze. Nothing was clear. Chris couldn't focus, he couldn't pay attention. 

“Why me?” 

“Why me?”

“Why me?” 

It didn't stop.

What would everyone around him think? What would his parents think? 

Nothing, because they would never find out. Chris decided that suppression and ignoring the problem at hand would get rid of it. He hoped that it would get rid of it.

No one knew, yet Chris felt like there were eyes on him everywhere he went. If he looked them in the eyes they would know. They would just know. That terrified Chris to the point that he couldn't look anyone in the eyes anymore. His once laid back and sarcastic personality now completely wiped and replaced with a paranoid, anxiety ridden teenager who couldn't focus and was in a constant state of fear.

Fear.

One word that held so much weight. Fear consumed Chris. Chris was paralyzed. Yet among this fear was want. Stuffed deep down, buried, ignored. Chris just wanted to see Felix again. 

Want.

“There's no way I could be like that…” 

“Push it down, don't think about it, it'll pass, you're just lonely…”

Days. Weeks. Months passed by and Felix was still floating around Chris' brain. Tormenting him. 

Chris had really tried to evict him, get him out of his brain but nothing worked, not girls, not alcohol, not friends, nothing. Absolutely nothing worked. 

The thread still remained. 

◦◦◦

Felix was a shitty person, he was rude and annoying, and his humor sucked. Also, he wasn't as pretty up close. At least that's what Chris told himself, what he hoped so that he could get over this stupid crush he had on the freckled boy. Although Chris would never call it that because he wasn’t like that. He couldn’t be. 

◦◦◦

Chris currently sat in a coffee shop, staring out into the snowy white landscape framed by the window. The dim yellow lights painting shadows across the floor. The scent of coffee wafted around him and stuck to his turtleneck sweater which currently drowned the short boy sitting in the corner booth. 

Lost in thought, Chris looked calm, but his brain was going a million miles a second. Cogs turning and processing the thoughts zooming through his mind like cars on a highway. 

FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX FELIX

His brain shouted at him, forever reminding him of the boy he briefly crossed paths with months ago. 

“Maybe I should just meet him… see what he's like…” Chris whispered to himself, unsure of his thoughts and hesitant to voice them as once they were spoken they became real. Chris had breathed life into them. Chris couldn't bear the thought of seeing the boy a few months ago, Chris tried to really think hard about what feelings he had for Felix in that time. He had to admit to himself that he had more than friendly feelings for the boy. He had to confront himself, what was he really afraid of? 

Other people's expectations and opinions of him. 

That was the conclusion he came to. Chris wanted to be like everyone else. To not have to worry about what other people thought of him because of something he couldn't control. He couldn't control his sexuality, no one can. To be straight would be normal and not fitting in with others scared the shit out of Chris. Not living up to the expectation set for him by his parents scared the shit out of Chris. 

But sooner or later, Chris had to look himself in the mirror and truly admit to himself that there is nothing he can do to change this. He had to face the fear that consumed him. Look himself in the eyes and tell himself, out loud, that he also liked boys and that was okay. Liking boys shouldn't be something he was ashamed of. He didn't need to go around flaunting it to everyone else, he could keep it to himself and that would still be valid. 

He is valid. His feelings are valid. His identity is valid. 

Being surrounded by the beauty of his surroundings, the dimly lit coffee shop and the snow delicately falling outside, reminded him of Felix. Of the freckles that scattered around his face, like individual and special snowflakes made just for him. Of the colour of Felix’s hair, the golden strands that reminded Chris of the sickly-sweet caramel creamer he put in his coffee. Of Felix’s smile, the smile that felt like coming home to be wrapped up in a warm embrace. 

Chris decided he wanted to bring Felix here, to show him how beautiful he really was. 

Chris was falling for the boy… and for once he didn't hate himself for it.

◦◦◦


End file.
